Reflections on Effort: My Experience as an Amateur Boxer and Boxing Coach

Written for the November Blog post of the Austin Women’s Boxing Club, formerly Austin Boxing Babes

When you come to a boxing class, how much effort do you put into each exercise? Do you depend on the teacher or other students to amplify your effort? Do you find yourself putting in less effort and beginning to daydream as soon as the teacher looks away, or do you still give it your all even when no one is looking, or when you are taking a virtual class?

In the boxing ring, whether sparring or competing, the amount of effort you have put into your workouts will have a decisive impact on the outcome. When you stand in the corner, preparing for the opening bell, you will want to be able to say to yourself, “I did everything I needed to do. I put in maximum effort at all times. I never cut a corner, I never skipped a run, I listened to my coach and I gave it my all.”

If you can make that statement honestly you will feel a sense of inner peace. Like a warrior going onto the battlefield, you will be ready to face the unknown. Whether or not you ever plan to get in the ring for full contact, holding that image in your mind may help you to take ownership of the amount of effort you put into every round of shadowboxing, every strength circuit, every Tabata.

Although I never plan to fight again, I still have an imaginary opponent in my mind. As I work out, I remember that she isn’t cutting corners, and that I need to be able to face her with full confidence when we stand face to face. This visualization helps me keep going with full effort even when I’m tired, to dig deep for my second wind. When I hit the bag, I continue the visualization. When I imagine that after my combinations she will be returning fire, I remember to use my footwork to stick and move, interweaving offence and defense..

When I think about getting her onto the ropes for the last 30 seconds, I can find the strength within to keep my punches crisp and powerful. The next time you notice that you are depending on the coach to motivate you to increase your intensity, you might try to reach inward, for the opponent you imagine facing one day. When the commitment to your own excellence comes from within, you will gain confidence as you work to master the art of boxing.

My experience with Braver Angels

Hello! It’s been a while since I have blogged, mostly because I have finally completed a draft of Chapter 7 of my book…stay tuned!

I am back here now, as the drumbeat of election drama quickens, to share with you all the ride I have taken for the past 2 months with an organization called Braver Angels (formerly Better Angels) that was formed in 2016 to address the polarization in the country. The organization focuses on teaching people how to stay in a room and communicate with people who don’t agree with them personally, with workshops for “lean reds” and “lean blues” and debates with leaders in the community sharing different perspectives.

I participated in several of these events in order to work on my own ability to manage political conflicts that arise in my therapy groups. Specifically, I wanted to better understand my clients who feel and vote differently than I do personally, so that I could identify my own biases and serve as a role model in the group room.

I did notice that the organization has a conservative bent. All of the resolutions being debated were in the affirmative, Donald Trump has been good for (women, the middle class, Black America), and in the book club we discussed a book by Tucker Carlson that had no citations to tether the things he was saying to actual facts . Recently, I unsubscribed from the group because while listening skills and civility were emphasized, there was not an equal emphasis on critical thinking skills, for me a huge priority to counter propaganda from every source. In fact, some of the emails I received from Braver Angels “ambassadors" themselves had the flavor of propaganda.

I did, however, gain some of the insights I was seeking. For one thing, I began to pay more attention to the way I talked about people who differ from me politically with like-minded friends and family. I noticed that the words, “stupid,” “ignorant,” and “crazy,” came up frequently. When I listened to and asked questions of the debaters who disagreed with my positions, they became three-dimensional, with their own motivations and fears dictating their choices. I realized that although we have different motivations and fears, we really should find a way to respect one another and listen to the stories of each other’s lives that have led us on such different paths.

I agree that we are all lost if we turn against one another, if our tribal instincts prevail and we abandon the “better angels” that can bring us together. For president, I can only support a leader who prevails upon these same better angels to tackle injustice and economic inequality rather than inflaming deeply-rooted tensions.